March 6, 2017

Mom Talk - She Lied About Being Pregnant!

Good Mama Mornings!

Grab your coffee, or tea and lets get our mama talk on!

We all have made online friends right?

Its 2017 after all.

With the daily uses of social media its pretty hard not to end up feeling close to strangers.

They blog, you blog and you share a common interest. Thats how it usually happens.

Well for me it did.

My online friendship with someone I thought I knew didn't turn out meeting in person, sitting in a cafe and oogling over each others awesomeness.

It was pretty darn close though...

We've all know of the bloggers who meet other bloggers. You attend meetups, plan events with each other and share bonds that only us bloggers can understand.

"I guess you can call it good blogging etiquette!"

Meeting your fellow close blogging friends is normal in the blogging world.

So who was this "friend"?

 Jackie (name changed for privacy) and I knew each other through the blogspehere for a little over a year.

We started off any friendship with being active readers of each others blogs and finding out our similar interest was closer than we thought.

With that in mind, Jackie and I took our friendship to sharing those creative interest together to actually writing blog content together.

Things quickly went from business to a close friendship when she made the first move to discussing her private life with her boyfriend and "two children".

With learning so much about her, I shared my private life as well.

It went from blogging together to sharing photos of our family moments, texting and relying on each other for support through those hard times.

That's what friends do right?

So what happened?

 "I became pregnant!"
With all this excitement, I shared the big news with everyone. My family & friends and of course Jackie.

I asked her tons of questions. I mean she has "two young children". I knew she was probably great at this mothering thing.

She asnwered my questions effortlessly and I naively believed her. Why wouldn't I believe her? She has two young children right ?

Making it through my first and second trimester I noticed the answers she gave me to my questions didn't quite add up.

Yet, I still didn't catch on to her lies because I was truly blinded by our friendship.

Than Jackie suddenly became "pregnant" too! 

I was so happy for her. I mean, my close online friend is going to be experiencing what I've been experiencing for months. We can relate even more now!!

Now I'm newly in my 3rd Trimester. I've experienced majority of the suffering symptoms most pregnant when go through and sat through all the mandatory physical exams.

I'm no pregnancy guru, but I'm pretty sure I can talk forever and dish out advice to anyone newly pregnant about pregnancy. Once you go through such an amazing body changing experience in your life you are able to have an understanding with other women who've gone through what you have.

I'm quite knowledgeable now.

Here's when I woke up from her lies!

I would mention physical exams I would take in the hospital to Jackie and she would blurtently state she had those same test done. She never had any pregnancy experiences of her own to share, she just mirrored my results.

Yet the mandatory test a pregnant women takes in her 3rd Trimester is completely different than what someone would go through in their 1st Trimester.

There was no way Jackie (being in her 1st Trimester) was receiving similar test I currently am at my stage.

It just wasn't possible. It didn't many any sense. Any of it.

I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, I truly did. I mean every pregnancy is different! Even if its a tad odd.

Jackie never had any ultrasound photos of her pregnancy. Her knowledge seemed flawed coming from a women with two children. Futhermore, the more I thought about our friendship the more I noticed her lies beyond pregnancy.

Was she really a mother of two? The photos she showed me of her children, were they actually her children? Did she physically have them as she stated? Did she really vacation here or there?

The last straw!

I don't use Facebook. But Jackie does. 

I caught her using my unborn's son's ultrasound photos as her own!!!

After coming across her Facebook account, I discovered her flaunting photos of my unborn son and passing them off as her own to make her pregnancy seem more accurate. Every symptom I experienced she was stating on her status they were her feelings word for word. 

My first reaction was to delete everything I've ever shared online and to block her from my life completely. 

I became over protective of not only myself but my unborn son. I wanted him to feel safe and the only thing I could think of was hiding...

I was violated! 

This wasn't your average "catfish story". 

She just wasn't some internet troll I didn't think I knew who stole my photos. I thought I had a friendly "connection" with her. I told her things. I mean we even discuss her flying out just to attend each others baby showers. I was already gathering gifts for her.

I thought I knew her.
I was more creeped out than angry.
Jackie and I never had a confrontation on this matter. There was no way I was going to allow myself to ever have a conversation with someone who clearly had no intentions on being opened and honest with me from the beginning.

 Now, I'm a very forgiving person...but I can't forgive someone that's not only hurting me but my child and lying to others around her.

I'm done!!!

This whole issue changed me...

I am not as openly friendly with other people online as I use to be.

I don't have open arms for strangers. I'm very hesitant to attend blogging events and even more cautious to let others online see me vulnerable.

I went from being this opened minded lady who loved supporting other bloggers and making online friendships to being standoffish and hesitant to chat with people. 

I didn't want to miss out on documenting my pregnancy because of Jackie. I wasn't going to let her take that from me. After a deep discussion with my boyfriend Fred, we decided it was best for me to continue blogging but choose to be more cautious about what I share.

Its not fair to women who are actually going through pregnancy, miscarriages and stillbirths to someone so narcissistic to lie about such a beautiful thing like motherhood.

I am slowly becoming at peace with with happened, but I don't see myself getting close to anyone anytime soon. I wish Jackie get all the help she needs. This time I am not going to be that "friend" that helps her through her issues. 



8 comments:

  1. I noticed you had disappeared from the blogosphere quite suddenly and I kept searching about for you hoping to not lose contact with you. Now I completely see why you did! I'm so sorry you had to deal with this and I'm disgusted someone would lie in this way and use your son to carry on the pretence of her "pregnancy"! So I can completely understand why you've had this change with yourself and finding yourself wary of getting close to people, it's such a shame Shan!

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    1. Yes, after all that has happened I truly wanted to get away from the online world. There was no way I was going to miss out on documenting my pregnancy or life for that matter because of this person. I'm back and happier than ever now. I truly learned my lesson and its such a shame that even in 2017 the internet is still such a weird place. Thanks for understanding Jas!

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  2. I'm so sorrry that happen to you! I had a similar situation that has happen to me dealing with social media friends but not as crazy as the true identity of Jackie. In my case, I met a fellow YouTuber who I met from watching each other videos (no way to catfish me was my theory). We grew a deep friendship I thought and went from online to on the phone FaceTime and texting constantly. And just like you I became pregnant! Strange enough this friend of mine became pregnant too! Great right? We can begin this journey together! Wrong! The friendship ended up turning into the jealousy and competition. Every time I post a instagram photo ultrasound or a update on Snapchat on my symptoms. This "friend" would do the exact same thing..within minutes of my original post. She would tried to compete and upstage me without ever leaving support for my own page. Which was crazy since we were only three weeks apart in pregnancy. The calls came to a halt and the texts messages were never return and I came to a realization that friendship was just for a season and I have distance/delete that friend off my platforms. I shouldn't have to feel this way in such a wonderful time as this. So yes shannon I agree 100% how you felt about being betrayed and having a great heart when people take advantage of it. I have also became very stand offish and won't let myself trust anybody since then. Who do I know is really out for my best interest now? But don't ever let somebody steal your dream or love for something! Continue blogging because us online people are not all like that, i promise!! Brittny Christina

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    1. Its literally sad that meeting people you felt like we've could have established a great relationship with turns into something so bitter. Pregnancy is suppose to be such a beautiful moment and its nice to hear that you as well refuse to let anyone ruin this special time in your life. We truly know how people online can be now. We just gotta push forward and be very careful! Thanks for reading Britt! xx

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  3. I had wondered where you had gone! This must have gone down just after I connected with you.

    I am so sorry you experienced this. How terribly violating for you :( I hope that this hasn't soured you from the whole blog world entirely. Sure, there are crazies, but there is also a wealth of support. A village of other mamas. I found my mom squad online. They've helped me get through so much. I hope you find yours <3

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    1. I Vanessa! Its nice to reconnect with you again.

      I wouldnt say it has soured me from the whole blogging world, but I'm very cautious of the community. I do believe their are amazing blogging mamas out their I'm just not in any rush to establishing a really close bond as I did with open arms. I'm taking babysteps for sure with allowing people to get to know me beyond my blog. No rush! & Its nice to see someone did find a great tribe of mamas online. :) xx

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  4. Oh my gosh, i cannot believe what i have just read. The lengths some people will go to our ridiculous. I often look at all the mama's that have made friends through blogging and envy them but you can never be to careful. I haven't been to any blogging events or met up with any other bloggers. To be far in real life i can actually be quite shy so i don't know if i ever would.

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    1. I totally agree Stacey! After all thats happen, I'm so guarded with other bloggers now. Can never be too careful!!!

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